Insights into the High School Psyche: Confessions of a Brand New Substitute

Having substitute taught only three times, I have only recently re-entered the high school world. However, as in most life threatening situtations, I have quickly become familiar with my surroundings. My initial insights are as follows.

Three days in, I have learned the following about high schools students:

1. Like elephants, lions, bears and tigers, (oh my) high school students can smell fear.
2. Nagging, while ineffective with husbands, is extremely effective with the unmotivated student.
3. No student really likes to look unintelligent.
4. A high school student's reputation is precious. Damaging it through humiliation is deeply painful and should be avoided in almost all circumstances.
5. Often when you say "please" and "thankyou," your students will too.
6. The ability to laugh at oneself is a powerful weapon.
7. The dean will always scare a student more than you will (at least when you're 5"3'). Let him (or her) do the yelling.
8. A student would rather avoid a situation than fail in it, whether it is an assignment, a question or a discussion. Creating a safe environment for failure is essential to the learning process.
9. Students are prepared to hate substitutes long before they are prepared to like them.
10. Eyes in the back of your head are unreservedly necessary.

Three days in, I am totally glad I'm having this experience. I will never call substitute teaching easy, nor will I call it fun, but it is a great job and an incredible learning experience. I can now efficiently write my name in calligraphy, balance chemical equations and sufficiently explain the plot of Antigone.